http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAc83CF8Ejk

I am not what you see

I am
hopelessly romantic
romantically artistic
artistically spiritual

I am not
Living apologetically
Apologetically loving
Lovingly deceitful

I am
Sexually sinful
Sinfully charming
Charmingly sarcastic

I am not
Abhorrently motivated
Motivatingly manipulative
Manipulatingly geared

I am
Peacefully relentless
Relentlessly longing
Longingly wishing

I am not
Blindly faithful
Faithfully ignorant
Ignorantly proud

Deja vu or something like that

As i sit enclose by these 4 walls I cant help but ponder, how did i get back here yet again? I'm not sure but apparently there is a lesson somewhere I have not learned.

Oh, be still my heart, be still.

Is it my fault that in your absence, my body longs for you? My stomach churns and my loins yearn. I love the way you fit to me. My finger tips itch to rake my nails against your skin. Danm it man, what have you done to me?! Your fingers tangled in my hair, I want to taste the angle of your jaw, the length of your neck. Cant I just sink my teeth into you? I want to push your bottons, I want to make you tremble and quake. I like the way it sounds when your breath catches. Lips, teeth and tongue; lips, glide and cum... I like the way you feel inside me...

It may not matter, you just might not care, but I hope I'm being perfectly clear...

Oh my beating heart wants you, and my empty arms need you. Don't you go, please stay, and never try to send me away

Its been 6 weeks... It may not really matter, in the grand scheme, but it eats at me.

They say never give up on someone you can't go a day with out thinking about... I hate that its him that has caught my attention. It drives me mad... In 4 short months he was able to get under my skin. In a few short hours he became my object of desire... And now after a matter of life and circumstances, miscommunications and hasty assumptions, brutal disconnect wreaks havoc on my heart.

Whats a girl to do when she offends a soul filled with such magnificent beauty? How may one redeem themselves?

I long to listen to your voice, I want to hear about your day. I desire to learn about you more: your loves, passions, fears, intrigues, stories, insecurities, desires, fantasies... I want to know you more. I want to share my soul with you. Experience things in that way that sharing something with another makes everything feel new again, being able to have a taste of that experience from a new perspective.

Insane as is may seem, you woke up my muse, and as she percolates with inspiration that has been far too long snuffed out by old wounds, raw with abandonment... I fear giving up too easily. I see far too much potential.

Why are we wired to long so for the unattainable? To care for those that can not or will not care in return? How is it so hard to let go of the "what if's" and the "but if only's?" I wish it were as simple for me as it seems to be for him.

NOW 1/22/11

http://faithak.com/Video/2011/012211.html


What a beautiful night